PRETENTIOUS POETRY – “Back in Black”

Welcome to PRETENTIOUS POETRY – where we take a look at classic rock lyrics as paraphrased by a sophomore English major. Today’s installment is the AC/DC classic “Back in Black”. Brace yourself for true idiocy.

RETURNED IN SABLE

Returned in sable, away to bed

Protracted absence, joyous upon return

Correct – I’ve become unrestrained from the antiquated execution device

That bound me to this place

The heavens I simply regard

Owing to the fact that they alter my consciousness

Disregard the funeral coach, as I shan’t perish

I am capable of eight resurrections

Feline vision

I will require each; as I am unbridled in my Dionysian revels

Inasmuch as I am once again present

Affirmative, I have returned

Indeed, here I stand

Aye, I am no longer away

Verily I am returned in sable

Without question I am returned in sable

Supine as the rear passenger of a prestigious, luxury automobile

Atop the album sales charts and rising

I am a vessel of potency

It’s true that I am simultaneously involved in intimate relations with multiple partners

In order to be harmed, I must first be seized

The path I have chosen allows me to avoid both my enemies and police officers

None shall again indict me for criminal behavior

Gaze upon me at this moment as I achieve my goals

Do not tempt fate, steer well clear of me